From the Rabbi’s Desk
Rabbi Manes Kogan
Vaiyera
It is well known the story about the three men visiting Abraham and Sarah at the plains of Mamre in order to announce to them that Sarah will deliver a son in one year. This story, chapter 18 in the book of Genesis, brings to us the following scene and dialogue:
Now Abraham and Sarah were old, well on in years; the manner of women had ceased to be with Sarah – And Sarah laughed at herself, saying, "After I have withered shall I again have delicate skin? And my husband is old!" Then Hashem said to Abraham, "Why is that Sarah laughed, saying: ‘Shall I in truth bear a child, though I have aged?’ – Is anything beyond Hashem?! At the appointed time I will return to you at this time next year, and Sarah will have a son." Sarah denied it, saying, "I did not laugh," for she was frightened, But he said, "No, you laughed indeed." (Genesis 18: 11-15)
Sarah doubted she can deliver a baby at age 90. She thinks she and also her husband, are old and that is, apparently, the reason for her laugh.
According to Radak and Sforno, she laughed in disbelief because she thought that the guest’s statement was simply a courteous, but meaningless blessing, not a prophecy from God.
God complained to Abraham about Sarah’s misbehavior but He changes Sarah’s words, according to RaSHI, "for the sake of peace" (God didn’t include Sara’s expression: "And my husband is old" in order to not hurt Abraham’s feelings and in order to avoid damage to the relationship between Abraham and Sarah.)
Although Sarah did not know this truly was a message from God Himself, God was angered at her reaction, for a person of her great stature should have had faith that the miracle of birth could happen. She should at least have said, "Amen, may it be so." Regarding God strictness about Sarah’s laugh, we read in the Talmud: "The Holy –blessed He- is strict with His closest people, even with something so insignificant as a single hair".
In this light, we can understand God’s strictness about Sarah: precisely because she was a person of a great stature, she was judge by God’s high parameters
Now we should ask ourselves: "Why did God complain to Abraham about Sarah’s misbehavior instead of talking directly to her?".
One possible answer to this question, taking in consideration the woman’s role in ancient society, can be that Sarah was to submit to Abraham’s authority. However, I prefer to think that God wants Abraham to approach Sarah in order to convince her about God almighty.
The Torah tells us that Sarah denied having laughed "for she was frightened". Ramban explained that she was frightened of Abraham. May be she thought God told him she doubted Abraham’s virility and was afraid of his reaction.
Abraham didn’t accept Sarah’s denial and cut her words: "No, you laughed indeed", closing any further discussion about the issue.
Finally, Abraham’s words: "No, you laughed indeed" deserved an explanation. Why didn’t he forgive her weakness? Why was it so important for him to remind Sarah of her reaction?
I understand that Abraham’s desire to teach Sarah an important lesson; may be a more important one than faith in God’s Himself. Abraham wants to teach Sarah to recognize her faults and to deal with them. Lack of faith can be an important sin, but denying responsibility is a worst one.
If we cannot accept the consequence of our own acts, it is impossible to achieve a mature and real faith.
Abraham could forget Sarah’s denying and not mention the issue again, but he loved Sarah, and when people love one another, they show them their mistakes and encourage them to change their attitude and to grow in spirit.
Our best friends are not the people who tell us how wonderful we are, but the people who encourage us to overcome our faults and to improve our behavior.
And blessed is the person who has such a friends.