From the Rabbi’s Desk
Rabbi Manes Kogan
Vayechi
We are familiar with the expression "One action is worth a thousands words". This is certainly true regarding how we educate our children and our students and how we introduce them to the study and practice of the Torah and its commandments.
Our Rabbis explained:
vagnv tkt /regv tuv arsnv tku
"The essential is not the study, but the action" (Avot 1:17)
So, my students at Hebrew School and my own children know that I like to take them with me when I go visit the sick. Sometimes I find a moment after classes and take a couple of my students with me to the hospital; other times visiting the sick becomes the "lesson of the day".
Our Sidrah, Vayechi, the last of the Sidrot of the book of Genesis, tells us about the commandment of visiting the sick in an accidental way.
We read in the beginning of chapter 48 of the book of Genesis:
"And it came to pass after these things that someone said to Joseph, "Behold! -- your father is ill." So he took his two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim, with him. (Genesis 48:1)
Surprisingly the traditional commentators ask the following question:
Why did Joseph take his children with him?
More surprising is their answer. RaSHI says:
:u,un hbpk cegh ofrcha hsf /ung uhbc hba ,t jehu
"So he took his two sons" – "So he (Jacob) will bless them before he dies" (RaSHI on Genesis 48:1)
Most of the commentators (the Or Hachaim among others) focus on the blessings, the pragmatic aspect of Joseph’s visit, and to tell you the truth, that troubles me.
Although we know the end of the story –that Jacob effectively blessed Joseph’s sons- Joseph could never have known that his father would make such an offer. Although Joseph seems to agree with the idea, Jacob is the one who offers to bless the lads.
After searching through medieval and modern commentators without luck, I came to a short commentary on our verse by Rabbi Israel Rozen, in the compilation Meora Shel Torah by Rabbi Shemuel Kloizner (Bereshit pp. 145)
Rabbi Israel Rozen explains:
"
So he took his two sons" – "You don’t visit a sick person by yourself!"So here we find a reference to the commandment of visiting the sick. Rabbi Israel Rozen not only sees in visiting the sick the reason for Joseph’s visit to his father but also shares with us a practical advise: "You don’t visit a sick person by yourself!"
I would like to suggest –following Rabbi Rozen’s commentary- that Joseph took his children with him to introduce them to the Mitzvah of visiting the sick, to show them the practical aspect of the Mitzvah.
"One action is worth thousands words", and Joseph knows that.
Joseph’s children, who were born in Egypt, not knowing about his father’s family, will now have the first and last opportunity to see how their own father, the second most powerful man in Egypt, honors his old father.
Joseph knows that the only way his children will learn to honor him and to visit him in his old age, is if they see him honor and visiting his own father.
Otherwise, how could they learn? They didn’t grow up with a Zeide and a Bubby? This is Joseph’s last opportunity to teach them!
Jacob just asked Joseph to bury him in the land of Israel. Joseph told his father that he will honor his promise. How will Joseph’s children learn to honor him if not by seeing Joseph honoring his father?
In the rabbinical conference I attended last week two hours north from Atlanta, I was part of a workshop about Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother: Intergenerational Spirituality and Jewish Tradition, with Mona Fishbane, a family therapist from Chicago.
She shared with us a paper she wrote about the subject from which I would like to share a few paragraphs with you:
"Multigenerational continuity is ensured in Judaism by the parent teaching the child. In the Bible, the parent is admonished: "And you shall teach diligently to your children (Deuteronomy 6:7)". The teaching of Torah and its values is an ongoing, constant process; through modeling, through one’s daily behavior, one is always teaching one’s children"
"Honor and service to parents are to be done because they are commanded, and for the welfare of the parent; they are not to be performed to puff up the ego of the pious child".
"With all the difficulties involved, in the traditional Jewish perspective one is obligated to honor parents whether or not they have been "good parents". The obligation is not based on their merit or on the spontaneous love of the adult child for the parent. Furthermore, Jewish law addresses the obligations and responsibilities of the individual rather than the rights of the individual. In this regard it is radically different from the American system, which is fundamentally based on the notion of individual rights and freedoms. Filial piety in the Jewish tradition is considered a debt of the adult child, not an optional choice. In liberal Jewish American circles, creativity and personal authenticity tend to be more highly valued than strict adherence to the religious law. Furthermore, the notion of the person in traditional Judaism is very different from the notion of the person in the modern American world. The United States is the land of individualism, of freedom of choice. The traditional Jewish view of the person is much more relational, tied to family, community and God. Whereas the trajectory of development in the American context is to become more and more independent, within traditional Judaism personal development is seen in terms of learning, maintaining values, and teaching future generations"
"When an individual has found a way to be constructively loyal to his or her parents and is not stuck in blame or resentment with them, that person may be freer to live his or her own life without carrying burdens of resentment into other relationships"
"I, as an adult, have worked at honoring my own parents, my mother in law, and other elders...It is both a pleasure and a personal challenge to perform the Mitzvah of the fifth commandment...My young adult sons have watched me as I try to take care of my elders. They have told me they hope to do the same for me and their father as we age. I am grateful to be embedded in this complex multigenerational story"
Joseph went visiting his father and took his two children with him. The rest of the brothers will join later, without their children, to receive their father’s blessings.
Joseph was the busiest man in Egypt and still found the time to visit his sick father!
Jacob sees Joseph and his well-educated children and feels "Naches" (the closest translation of "Naches" is spiritual satisfaction, spiritual pleasure.
I would like to suggest that the blessings are a consequence of the visit, a reward Joseph and his two sons, Ephraim and Menashe, had earned.
Efraim and Menashe grew up in Egypt, a pagan nation, but grew up educated in Torah and respect for the elders, and therefore earned their zeide’s blessings.
Egypt may not be the best place to raise Jewish children, but if your agenda and priorities are the right ones, you still can do a good job. It is possible to remain Jewish and to raise fine Jewish children in Egypt and in any other place, if we give them the right education, and education that starts with our own example.
"So (Jacob) blessed them that day, saying, "By you shall Israel bless saying, 'May God make you like Ephraim and like Manasseh' " (Genesis 49:20)
When we bless our children each Friday night we use exactly the same words. We ask God that we will be able to educate our children like Joseph did, with our example, and to lead them through a path of respect, devotion and kindness.
And may God make our children and students like Ephraim and like Manasseh, like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.
Shabbat Shalom