From the Rabbi’s Desk
Parashat Ekev
Rabbi Manes Kogan
Beth Israel Synagogue, August 14, 1998
There are some skills, that are innate.
One of these abilities is to ask for our needs. When a baby is hungry, when he suffers from cold, when something hurts him, he asks his mother. Most of the time, the mother can solve these needs, so the baby continues to ask, and the mother (or the father) satisfies his needs.
To ask for something is part of the nature of human beings. As a child with his mother, when we are in trouble, we are used to asking for our needs.
However, the ability, the capacity to thank, is not innate. We need to work hard with our children and students, in order to teach them to thank.
And what is the reason for that?
Because we were accustomed from our childhood to ask for our needs, and most of the time we received what we asked for, it is not difficult to arrive at the situation that we take for granted all the goods we receive.
When a baby asks for something, he feels that it is his mother's or father's obligation to feed him and to protect him. Most of us (who have or had children) think that all these duties are part of an obligation, but it is really our love for our children that leads us to take care of them.
When a child says to his mother: "Mom, buy me this and this and this", most of the time he feels that his mother has an obligation to him.
So the parents need to teach their kids the difficult task of thanks.
The first step in this learning, consists -in my opinion- in teaching them that all the things they receive and have received, are because Mom and Dad decided to give them. In other words: we need to erase from their hearts and minds, the idea of taking for granted our care, our time, our love and also the gifts and the money we spend on them.
That is the reason we ask from our kids to say "thank you" when they receive a gift.
Perhaps the person who gives the gift doesn’t need the thanks; but our child does need to thank, in order to improve his character and to grow in spirit.
The people of Israel in the desert were like children. Nobody taught them to say thanks for the liberation from Egypt, for the miracles, for the Manna, for the Torah. That is the reason that they complained all the way during forty years.
Now, when they were close to entering the promised land, it was time to encourage them to appreciate God gift's.
Tomorrow we'll read in our weekly parasha - parashat Ekev:
"For Hashem, your God, is bringing you to a good land: a land with streams of water, of springs and underground water coming forth in valley and mountain; a land of wheat, barley, grape, fig, and pomegranate; a land of oil-olives and date-honey; a land where you will eat bread without poverty - you will lack nothing there; a land whose stones are iron and from whose mountains you will mine copper. You will eat and you will be satisfied, and bless Hashem, your God, for the good land that He gave you." (Deuteronomy 8: 7-10).
Rabbi Matzliach taught us that "Moses warned Israel to beware lest it allow the forthcoming prosperity and security to blind it to the identity of the Source of its blessing."
As we also read tomorrow:
"And you may say in your heart, My strength and the might of my hand made me all this wealth! Then you shall remember Hashem, your God: that it was He, Who gave you strength to make wealth, in order to establish His covenant that He swore to your forefathers, as this day" (Deuteronomy 8: 17-18).
A false pride, seems a small fault, but it can lead to idolatry, to forgetting God, or to transforming us into gods -God forbid.
When we thank God for his gifts, when we pronounce a blessing before or after meals, we recognize that we are not almighty, and that God gave us all that we are and have.
To thank is -in my opinion- one of the most important virtues we need to teach our kids and our students. A child who is able to say "thank you", will be able to feel the presence of God in the world.
This is one of the important lessons that the Torah has for us this week.
Shabat Shalom!